As I sit here in this body that used to work just fine.
I wonder how it got like this
and in such short a time.
Why did this illness choose me?I didn't ask it to.
But without the illness in me I would never have met you.
You are such a special treasure that takes away my pain.
Much better than the pills
the doctors give in vain.
God gave you to me to help me and for me to help you too.
I wouldn't be the person that I am because of you.
I want to do so much more to help you through each day.
But all that I can do for you
is listen to what you say.
I can but offer my shoulder and an ear when you're in need.
Our friendship was started when we met online and planted the seed.
I thank the Lord daily for bringing you to me.
We are friends and more because the Lord wanted us to be.
So if you ever need me, or
if I need you too.
I
know the Lord will be there to show us what to do.
The Bird
By Angela
Larsen
I feel just like a bird high in a tree,
Trying to build a nest for a family,
I lovingly build it from twigs and hay,
Just as it takes form, the wind blows it away,
With determination I start again,
and right in the midst it starts to rain,
It's an on going battle I intend to see through,
I need to do this to bring in life new,
I have to see this through to the end,
So God, your blessings to me please send
Fibromyalgia
By Angela Larsen
This FMS life can he hard to take
People all around just think you're a fake
Get out of your chair you'll hear them say
You can't be this sick day after day
A bit of exercise is what you need
You'll be better in no time, yes indeed!
If only they knew how their words cause pain
They don't understand that we're just not the same
It's not our choice to be like we are
Gosh, most of us can't even drive our car
We don't want to be stuck in our houses all day
Before we got sick it just wasn't our way
Our bodies are failing
Our minds are a mess
Most days it's hard to even dress
A shower or bath can be such a chore
And just as hard can be answering the door
There must be a reason for all this sorrow
Perhaps a cure will be found tomorrow
WHEN YOU SEE ME
by Mary Hastings
written May 2003
When you see me on a "good day"
I may look as if nothing's wrong,
But I, myself, am very aware
That the energy won't last long.
You may think that I am lazy,
Or I just don't like to try,
Or maybe I am just depressed,
When sometimes you see me cry.
You may not understand me,
It's not easy to explain,
The struggles that I so often endure,
As I live each day in pain.
People may offer their opinions,
Thinking that I just need some advice,
Yet they don't really comprehend,
Although they are trying to be nice.
What for some may be so easy,
Is almost impossible to me,
But because I may look healthy,
Many around me fail to see.
Perhaps it seems that I'm sloppy,
If I would only take more pride,
It's sad that many don't stop to see,
The person who is inside.
Planning things is so hard to do,
With each day uncertain fate,
The best that I can do is try,
And oftentimes I have to wait.
Life can be so stressful,
Even when you have your health,
Many people cannot even imagine,
Giving up their dreams and wealth.
While some people may worry,
How to fit everything into each day,
Others of us must struggle,
To even find a way.
So often misunderstood,
Some say that is must be "in my head,"
Yet there are days that it takes all I have
To even get out of bed.
You'd think that if one is weary,
Then why not just take a nap,
But the fatigue at times is so severe,
That nothing seems to help.
If exercise were the answer,
I would just move into a gym,
But intolerance and unbearable pain
Makes it difficult to stay trim.
That's alright just take a pill--
Medications can always do some good,
However, sometimes the effects are far worse,
Oh, but how wonderful it would be if I could!
Living each day fighting defeat,
Knowing that you can't give up and quit,
Even though it gets hard to do,
Find ways of accepting it.
I guess it would be a better thing,
If there were a little more support,
Everyone longs for acceptance and love,
As they keep their life in sort.
If I could make the world aware,
Help them to see things in a new light,
Be careful on what they base their view,
That they may receive a new insight.
Then maybe when someone else comes along,
Who is going through something unknown,
They may not feel so hopeless and scared,
And will know that they're not alone.
Whether it be a terminal thing,
Or something chronic with no known cure,
There are many processes that will be faced
In this we can rest assured.
The grieving over loss is hard,
Whatever the loss may be.
What may be just a bump for you,
Could seem like a mountain to me.
Everyone responds so differently,
We all have our own ways to cope,
But the one thing that we must never do,
Is believe that there's no hope.
For I faithfully trust in God above,
And no matter what the future may bring,
I know that He is holding my hand,
And He's in control of EVERYTHING.
CFS SURVIVOR STORIES – POETRY
The Journey
One beautiful day in the month of May
Cfs folks came from far and away
Meeting each other for the very first time
Excited at meeting others of same kind
Some went to stay at Amys place
Others to the Caravan Park did make their base
Now these travellers from far and wide
Was no mean feat for cfs sufferers side by side?
Packing belongings in a big case
Board a plane, the world to face
Pushing the pain and fatigue to the back of the mind
No one was going to stop these one of a kind
Why were they meeting in Melbourne town?
Was not a secret, the news the world around?
It was off to the launch of Amys Song to hear
Exciting, to hear Chis sing his wifes love song so rare
by Pamela Du-Valle
11/6/2003
I'll Feel Better Later
Don't talk to me now Son, I've only just got up and You
know I'm not human Till I've had my first hot cup. Pass me my pills Love That's a good Lad, Gawd without all them I
'd surely go mad.
I can't find my Valium, Geez I'm in a bind, I'd like
two of them to Help me unwind. Is breakfast ready? I'll be there in a jiff, Hell I wish this old body Wasn't
so bloody stiff.
Son I can't seem to get up Think my disk's slipped out Come
on give me a hand Or I'll give you a clout. Oh these pains in the belly are making me pout, But I can't use the
loo Cause nothing comes out.
If I could just wash my face I know I'd feel fine, But
I can't lift my arms, So it's a wast of time Oh these arthritic fingers I've just dropped my fag, And my poor
old eyelids Are starting to sag.
Well never you mind Son Lets just have a chat, Eh!
My ears aren't so good Since I slipped on that mat. Oh sex! Yeah I remember it well But can't do it now It hurts
me like hell.
How's the new Girlfriend? Loved the flowers you sent. Geez
i think my get up and go Just got up and went. Hell my but is hurting There's drums in my head Give us one more
pill Love Then I'll slip back to bed.
From the confused mind of Jazmine Schoenmaker
Copyright Jazmine (c) 2003.
WINTERS MORNING
Icy windows glistening in the Sun
Now Winters morning has just begun
Birds Chirping, feeding on leafy green trees
Hopping from branch to branch in the gentle breeze
A winters day is so cold in the morning
I lay awake with my cuppa, still yawning
Once the sun peeps over the hill
Winters morning appears bright and still
The frost melts in the warming sun
A winters day has just begun
Looking out my window I can see
A beautiful new June day looking back at me
By Pamela Du-Valle
2003
FIBROMYALGIA
FIBROMYALGIa
I have had to put on a brave face
Going through life at a heck of a pace
While others can only see the outside
Not knowing the pain gnawing inside
The long, long nights wrecked with pain
Wondering if I was going insane?
Headaches, forgetful mind & oh so tired
Like a battery that needs to be rewired
Sleep Oh sleep, what is that??
By the way I am getting so fat
Foggy minds and dizzy spells
I wonder if I have ever felt well
What comes first the pain in my head?
That wants me to stay so much in bed
Aching muscles, stiffness when I wake
How could I move if there was an earthquake?
Round and round, it goes, your mind in a whirl
Trying like an oyster making a pearl
The grit in my body makes me hurt so much
I cant even bear the gentleness of touch
The grit in my body makes me so lazy
Yet on the outside I look like a daisy
So please dont judge a book by its cover
Because when you look inside you may discover
That the inside may not appear to be
The essence of life you can see
To have an invisible illness that comes and goes
Having to live with it you will never know
Until there is a cure for this dam disease
Treat me please with dignity, respect and ease
I do not want your pity or sympathy
Just to accept me with compassion and empathy
To know and appreciate when I have to say No
That I cannot always be counted to go
I just have to learn to start saying No
So hard to do, not letting my stress show
Even if I am up and down like a yo yo
Doesnt mean I do not love you, you know
I just have to learn to take care of myself
Learning to cope with this dreadful thing
Hoping each day a cure will bring
Freedom from pain, fatigue & sleep for myself
So tired in my body, yet my mind in a spin
Going round and round and not able to win
Others tell you you look so fine
Many think it is all in your mind
I know now that is not true
I know my FIBROMYALGIA friends
Understand me, unlike you
I lay in bed day after day
Dreading hearing other people say
There is nothing wrong with you
Why dont you get up and stop feeling blue
Gee you look so very well
My body on the way to Hell
How do you know I am bloody well tired?
Forever and a day this illness and pain to hide
Put on the makeup and get nicely dressed
To help me feel good, not pained and stressed
Struggling to blow dry my hair
Tears streaming down my face
Does anyone care?
I feel like a burden to others and myself
I feel like hanging myself on the shelf
I just want a nice clean room
Not worrying about picking up a broom
Get rid of the garden, I cant stand the weeds
Oh bloody hell, the hens need their feed
I will just get rid of all my stuff
Stay nice and quiet, No I m not in a huff
Dogs need feeding, wormed and bathed
Yet they do love me and make me laugh
They get me through my darling pets
With unconditional love, their minds are not set
I just pray the one-day there is a cure
So all of us who have Fibro do not have to endure
Day after day. Year after year
Living with pain, invisible yet rare
I get through the bad days and off my bum
Into Life I again start to run
Some one says you look so well
I just feel like I want to yell
Yes I do today, but Do you know what?
The hell I go through, behind closed doors when shut
Locking myself away once more
Too embarrassed to let you see me endure
The pain and suffering I have to bear
When the pain gets worse and I am in a Flare
So friend I am telling you
I am not going madly insane
I have an illness called Fibromyalgia
I hope you never have to experience it you know
In spite of it all I put up a bloody good show
I have been to a shrink to fix up my mind
The symptoms you see, in your mind they want to find
I now know that this is not the case
I have an illness with a physical base
Hey! I am in pain, not over reacting
I am into reality, not into acting??????
So now I am learning to take care of myself
To hell with those, who think of nothing, but themselves?
I am learning to sleep, to let nature heal my being
To enable my muscles to relax and heal
So as I can eat a pain free meal
To be calm and contented, yes and very real.
So all I can do is to change me ways
So as I dont have so many down days
I will manage my body and my health
I am going to be positive and happy with myself
So just remember when you see me out to play
Remember the painkillers I have taken to get through that
day
Tomorrow as I lay in bed, fatigued and in pain
I will just remember the beautiful day before
Hoping to yes do it again
I know I can choose to connect with you
As my friendships are so important and get me through
I have learnt to be thankful for what I have got
To accept myself right on the spot
Not unhappy, with a pain free day
It is something money cannot do, no matter the pay
Friendships, Laughter, a childs wonderful grin
Gives my spiritual spirit a blessed healing spin
Connecting me with my world outside
Knowing I am not all alone
Looking out seeing you doing wonderful things with you life
While I am at home feeling I am nothing but strife
But hey that is changing because, do you know
I am learning quickly even if I am slow
I am no longer going to put on the brave face
And out into the mad pace of life, to race
Because you see I am beginning to feel free
My body, my spirit is being honest to you and to me
" I CAN CHOOSE TO DO WHAT I WISH"
WITHOUT BEING PUT ON THE HIT LIST"
I AM WONDERFUL, COURAGEOUS, UNDERSTAND AND REAL
WILLING TO HELP OTHERS, TO ALSO TO BE TRUE TO THEMSELVES
NO MATTER WHAT
COME ON BUDDIES, GIVE IT A SHOT
To be continued
Poem by Pamela Du-Valle September 1998 (copy write)
(I never did get to finish this and anyway it is long enough.
I wrote this in hospital after my ex husband and his 2 daughters gave me such a bad time, refusing to visit me.
Saying it was all in my head and I was want attention. It
hurt so bad . Iwrote this. I was 52yrs old. It was 7 months latter I left the marriage and I am so glad I did)
